Real Talk

Last week was a mess.
My mind was a race track for disruptive and mannerless thoughts,
It was quite honestly chaos.

There are some things I have been praying about for a while now,
A broken vinyl record of sorts.

Seek first the kingdom of God, and…
Here I am, seeking.
But I am starting to feel like Peter,
Casting my net and catching nothing.
…When will all that I seek be added unto me?

A friend and I decided to fast and pray some weeks back,
Every week, twice in the week.
This week however, I wasn’t feeling it.
All I felt was tired and burnt out.
‘Twas a toss and turn, push and pull sorta week y’all,
And it wasn’t pretty.
Probably partly why I got physically sick,
My mind and body at loggerheads.

Inadequate.

That was the word I started my week with,
The word I battled with all week.

Still, I fasted.
Still, I prayed.
Still, I sought.
Still, I waited.

To add salt to injury,
Sleep stood me up
Left me hanging
High and dry
No vacation from my thoughts.
All good though,
I felt guilty sleeping anyways.

Friday.
In the stillness of the crack of dawn,
Just before the neon sign in my head lights up, and my thoughts break down doors for play time, I get a word in my spirit.
Luke 12:22-32
Do not worry about your life…
which of you by worrying can add one hour to his life’s span…
…it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom

And with that word,
I slept for the first time in the week.
Only 2 hrs of sound sleep,
But I woke up refreshed and ready for life.

My net isn’t empty after all,

God is good.

Happy monYAY!

💛

9 Replies to “Real Talk”

  1. Girl! When I feel the weight of anxiety welling up in my heart for what tomorrow brings I have to remind myself of this (and read and re-read and re-read the passage below). TIME and TIME again. Be still. He is God. It may take time, but it will come.

    Matt 6:25-34 GNT

    25 “This is why I tell you: do not be worried about the food and drink you need in order to stay alive, or about clothes for your body. After all, isn’t life worth more than food? And isn’t the body worth more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds: they do not plant seeds, gather a harvest and put it in barns; yet your Father in heaven takes care of them! Aren’t you worth much more than birds? 27 Can any of you live a bit longer[a] by worrying about it?

    28 “And why worry about clothes? Look how the wild flowers grow: they do not work or make clothes for themselves. 29 But I tell you that not even King Solomon with all his wealth had clothes as beautiful as one of these flowers. 30 It is God who clothes the wild grass—grass that is here today and gone tomorrow, burned up in the oven. Won’t he be all the more sure to clothe you? What little faith you have!

    31 “So do not start worrying: ‘Where will my food come from? or my drink? or my clothes?’ 32 (These are the things the pagans are always concerned about.) Your Father in heaven knows that you need all these things. 33 Instead, be concerned above everything else with the Kingdom of God and with what he requires of you, and he will provide you with all these other things. 34 So do not worry about tomorrow; it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to the troubles each day brings.

  2. Persist nevertheless, my dear.

    “And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”

    ― haruki murakami

  3. Ecc 3:11…. my friend.

    In time, it will all make sense. Keep pressing on.. God knows and he has got ya!! Pls trust and believe. Ive lived it and am still living it and have so many so many stories..

    Cant wait to read the blog testifying to how he did it… im staying tuned….

    Great blog as usual!!

  4. THAT BIBLE VERSE!!!

    Awesome reminder that worrying really never helps. When we look unto the Author and Finisher, there’s only hope, faith, strength and so much more to push forward.

    I’m glad you’re staying the course, “still”. I liked how you used the word in this post. Bad day? I’ll STILL smile and be thankful I saw a day at all. Stressed or feeling sad? I’ll STILL work on moving forward because I know the joy of the Lord is my strength.

    Thanks for this one, ministered to me ❤️.

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