NOT MY OWN.

I thought that I would dig a little deeper into the prayer I posted last week…

I am learning that I am actually useless without God. Me being honest, it is not an easy thing to say, and it’s even harder to accept. The flesh is proud. But here I am saying it over and over to my ‘self’, to subdue the flesh. I am useless without God. I am nothing without God. Where there is no God, there is no life. Just dust. Mere dust. Dust.

It is humbling to sit and really think…WOW! I am here because of God. I was dust, and then He breathed into me, and now I am a vessel. I was created not for me, but for Him. I am because of Him. My life is not my own. 

How does this make me feel? Powerful. #phew!

Cue speech**
I would just like to say, thank you Holy Spirit for guiding me into this truth – In God, I am powerful!

But I haven’t always felt this way. The opposite of powerful is how I felt thinking that I had no control over my life, (oh ya, the things the devil will make you think is true). That is until I saw the error in my thinking.

Less speaks to a deficiency, and from the mountaintops, I am hollering…I am every bit less than what God has called me to be when I proudly choose to be i.e. live or do outside of Him. I am powerless without my plug. Exactly like my favourite gadget at 1%, with no charger in sight. I am useless without my source. Exactly like every first world country without electricity. My plug is Christ (the word), my power, the Holy Spirit and my source, God.

Think about it, if you have only lived in a tiny village or town on the outskirts of the city, you will believe that that is all there is. Until you step outside that box, and bravely so, and see that there is a much bigger world outside of yours.

This is a truth that had to sink in for me. It was a harsh reality at first, like being hit by a ton of bricks. It’s like you thinking you are the shizzznaIT from jump, because your momma said so, and then you are dumped out in the world, where you see that there are levels of shizzznaITs, and you are the bottom fiddle of them all. Harsh right? Yea. 

I get it. It gets hazy sometimes. We get caught up in ourselves, and make the mistake of thinking that we ourselves are God. We run helter skelter, from pillar to post, tombs to stars looking for gods to help us make sense of life. 

The only person that can explain life is the one who created it.

This is why I always have to remind myself, that I am not my own, and in the spirit of humble surrender accept that I am limited in scope, and ask God to lead me. I ask for His will, instead of working myself up trying to manipulate Him into mine (waste of time by the way).

He is why I do not look like where I have been, and what I have been through. So daily I say, help me Lord. Help me be all that you called me to be. Help me leave footprints in the sand that will lead many to you. Help me never forget that you are God all by yourself. 

God is not one of many options for me. He is the only option, and to enjoy the fullness of the finished works of Christ, I need Him to be the single thread weaving through, and stitching together the many fabrics that make up the tapestry of my life. 

Everything He creates is beautiful.

Happy monyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! 

xoxo

image – @pinterest

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