I was taking out trash the other day and felt the Lord tugging at my heart. It was a soft tug. Nothing particularly distinct. I am not one of those that hear God like He is speaking from a boom box and so, I have had to muscle train. I still miss it and I imagine multiple times a day, but glory be to God, I am recognizing His voice more and more.
I have been in His word reasonably more than usual, thirsty for insight and determined to glean understanding. But sometimes when I let it, I am a dumpster holding on to things like hurtful words that ultimately grow mold and stink up my mind space. I had a situation over the weekend. Power dynamics were at play. Based on titles, he had the upper hand. He was rude, brash, and talked down on me like I was nothing. He chose to exert the little power that he had in a way that made me wonder if this was the only place in his life he felt in control. Maybe he felt small otherwise.
I had been praying about this situation. My faith was on steroids (still is), and I walked into that place open palmed ready to receive my miracle. In fact, I already knew how I would relay my testimony to every person that would give me an ear. It did not work out as planned. But I have to say that I showed a kind of strength during those 4.5hrs that I cannot explain. Basically, I did not fold under pressure. That was God. I do not know why my plans and His purpose did not align in that moment, but He gave me the sound mind to brace the hailstorm that spewed out of that man’s mouth. I was mindful (aware of, acknowledged and leaned in) of God in those hours, my whispered prayer simply, thank you Jesus repeatedly.
However, I got home and my mind FULL of the words said by that man crushed my spirit. I broke down and I think one of the things I said to God was, I don’t get it. This past maybe 3 or so years has been the closest I have ever felt to God. In my journey, I have learned to be comfortable being real with Him. I am no longer ashamed of going to Him with my tear-stained face, and not as concerned that my ugly cry would grind His ears. I needed to offload on Him, else I carry the funk with me through the week.
Are you mindful of what your mind is FULL of? Is it God’s life-giving word or that of someone who is probably dealing with personal issues? Take the time to do a heart dump. Make it a point to think about what you are thinking about. You are the temple of Almighty God, not a trash can. Live in the fullness of God, not on the empty words of man.
The title gave that man his power. Me? God. His spirit is the power at work in me. His say is final, and I know that He is piecing all the little details together. It would have been a big testimony, but something tells me that this ‘no’ has set the stage for an even bigger one.
I leave you with His words. Breathe it all in. Pause. Breathe out. Let these words be the pulse for your days ahead. Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. |Isaiah 41:10|.